Sorry For Pony Rocking
by Mr. Chump Time
Summary: When a kilt wearing, beer swilling, baseball watching slacker magically gets sent to Equestria, things get a little crazy. Will Ponyville ever be the same? Probably not. Rated MA for Language, Violence, Adult Content, and Hammer Dulcimers.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: A Very Bad Situation

After a long day of working at K-Mart, cashier Fitzgerald Schlitz cracked a beer and put on a baseball game on his television. Fitzgerald, or Fitz between friends, was a young twenty something college student in the town of Billings, Montana. He stood six foot, with long arms and big hands and feet. He studied baseball history, and came to the conclusion that he resembled Honus Wagner the most in a vintage lineup. Along with baseball, Fitz studied American History at Rocky Mountain University, had a knack for a good meal and classic rock, and also took a particular fancy for wearing kilts.

His home was not much, but it was his. A small house near the outer community of Billings known as the "Rims" kept him close enough to his job, but still close enough to school. It was a small bungalow, with one room and one bathroom. It got him by, because he could not stand roommates. He had one once, but after he told him that he only liked Fitz as a friend, Fitz packed up and left.

The beer he drank tasted particularly good that night and the alcohol pumped through his bloodstream, giving a well-deserved high. Five beers later, he conked out as another Met went down swinging.

The next morning, he woke up to something just a little different. His bookcase was gone. Fitz got up and looked back at the bed; it wasn't his either. _Since when did I get these satin sheets?_ He thought, _How much did I drink last night?_ When he heard a knock on the door to the bedroom, things began to get even worse, _My room doesn't even have a door! Where the fuck am I?_

A yellow cartoon pony, with a pink mane, came through the door, "I hope you're feeling better now," she said, quietly, "You weren't looking very good this morning…" and she saw him standing.

"Who…who are you?" Fitz stammered, "_What_ are you?"

"I'm, I'm Fluttershy," the pony replied, "I found you early this morning next to my chicken coop. You took quite a fall."

"I think it's more than just a fall," he rubbed his head, "Where am I?"

"Why, you're at my house," she replied, gaining a little confidence, "I've never seen an animal like you before."

"Yeah, I've heard that one a million times, wait…" he thought for a moment as Fluttershy brought a cup of tea to the nightstand, "Animal…You're the yellow pony…and I'm…" he ran over to a mirror and saw himself mugging back, "I'm me." He turned back to Fluttershy, "I'm not in Billings anymore, am I?"

"Billings?" she giggled, "Where's Billings?"

"Well, it's a city in Montana and…hey, I'm asking the questions here! Where am I?"

"You're in Ponyville, you sure are anxious, how about you have a seat and have some herbal tea?"

"Ponyville?" He paced around the room, "I guess that makes sense if they're ponies…wait a second here," Running to the door, he opened it wide to view the wonderful world of Equestria, "_Where am I?_" he cried as he fell to his knees, "_Where am I?_"

"You're in Ponyville, I told you that," Fluttershy trotted up to him and put her hoof on his shoulder, "Come back in, you're still not well."

"But, but my records," he softly protested, "My TV, _my Mets!_"

Fluttershy brought Fitz to her couch where he sat and graciously accepted her herbal tea. "Now," she said, with her sweet voice, "Tell me about yourself. What are your 'Mets?'"

"My Mets," he sipped the tea, "They're a professional baseball team out of New York. I watch 'em every Friday night, like last night."

"Baseball? New York?"

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

She shook her head, with a smile.

"Shit."

"What's your name, if I may ask."

"It's Fitzgerald. But my pals call me Fitz."

"That's an awfully nice name."

"Are you always this kind?"

"That's how I'm written."

"That makes sense," he sipped the tea more, "What'd you say this kind of tea is?"

"Herbal. A special blend that I make for healing sick animals like yourself."

"Certainly not the kind of herb that I'd like now," He sat up, "You refer to me as an 'animal.' What I really am is a human."

"A, human?"

"Yeah, you know, car driving, beer drinking, war starting human. You've never heard of a human?"

"Can't say that I have. But I think I know who has."

"You, you do?"

"Yes. Wait right here," she pulled a blanket over him, "I'll bring her right over."

"Her?" Before Fitz could ask anymore, Fluttershy was out the door and off. He leaned back in his chair and admired the pastel-colored world. It was certainly different than Montana. But one problem was, Fitz forgot to pay his cable bill before he conked out and awoke in a different world. _What happened to me when I fell asleep?_ He asked himself, _Did I fall through a wormhole? Another dimension that's cartoon-y?_ Sipping more tea, he figured that it would take more than constant questioning to figure out his dilemma. He had to cover for a coworker that day, and he knew that when—if ever—he got back, his manager would give him the run-around.

Soon enough another pony burst through the door. This one was purple, with a black mane, and various books stuffed in her saddle bags. "Oh my!" she said to Fluttershy, "I've never seen one live!"

"Hey! Now what do you mean by that?" Fitz replied.

The purple pony rushed up to him and began examining him, "Fascinating!"

"Hey, Shutter-fly," he pointed to Fluttershy, "What's going on with your purple friend?"

"My name is Twilight Sparkle, and Fluttershy brought me over to see what she found, you."

"Oh. I think I knew a stripper with that name."

"What's that?" Fluttershy asked.

"Forget it."

Twilight moved away from Fitz and reached into her bags, pulling out a book with her magic Unicorn horn, "Look at this," she motioned to Fluttershy, "He's an awful odd specimen for a human."

"I heard that! Would someone clue me in on what's going on here?" He got up and motioned towards the two.

"You're one of the first humans to ever come to Equestria!" Twilight gasped.

"Oh! And I found him!" Fluttershy raced to Fitz's side, "Can I keep him?"

"Keep me? What's Equestria?"

"Equestria is the land of the ponies! You're in the bustling community of Ponyville, under the best animal care in all the land."

"You guys are the animals! What's next, an entire land of penguins?" He paced the room again, "They didn't teach us this shit in school! How can you get me back home?"

"Home? Hah!" Twilight laughed as she flipped through her book, "The last human to appear in Equestria stayed until his death."

"Death? _You mean I'm here forever?_"

"Technically, yes."

"Oh man, oh God, oh man!" he looked around the room, "Oh God! Oh man! Oh God! Oh man!"

"Calm down!" Fluttershy restrained him, "It's alright, I'll take good care of you!"

"It doesn't matter! I've got a test in three weeks, and my manager! Oh! My manager will kill me if I don't cover for Jerry today!"

"Sit down!" Twilight cast a sitting spell on Fitz before he could panic any more, "Now look," she stood over him, "You don't have to be Fluttershy's pet. But we have no way of getting you back to your world. I'm sorry, but I guess you'll have to do the best here."

"You mean…no more work?"

"I'm sure we could find you a job around Ponyville, but no, not the job you have."

Fitz began with a giggle, then broke out into a roar of laughter, "No more work! Hah!" His joy grew so great that it broke the sitting spell. Dancing with Fluttershy, he cheered, "They can't tell me to stock up lightbulbs anymore!"

"At least he's happy!" Fluttershy muttered to Twilight.

"For now," she said, packing her books, "I think you should take a walk with us, Mister…"

"Uh, Fitzgerald Schlitz, but my friends call me Fitz."

The three walked around Ponyville for a bit, to the amazement of all the other ponies. "You should know you're new home better Fitz," Twilight said, "You're going to have to get used to Ponyville."

"Hell, I can get used to no work," he replied, "Say, I'm a little hungry, want to get something to eat?"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Fluttershy said, "What would you like to have Fitz?"

"I'd like some eggs, honestly."

"Eggs?" Fluttershy looked at Twilight, "You, _eat eggs?_"

"Yeah, don't…oh, yeah. You two are herbivores aren't you?"

"We are. I know where we can get a wonderful dandelion sandwich though."

"Shit." The three went to a local delicatessen and had a late breakfast. To Fitz's disappointment, not even a slab of ham could be found.

"I think we should introduce Fitz to our friends this afternoon!" Fluttershy told Twilight, "He'd make a great addition to our group."

"Do you think they'd like him?"

"Oh I'm sure they would," She leaned up on Fitz, "Would you like to meet our friends too?"

"I guess," he said, looking at his salad with a hint of sadness, "I might as well get used to this joint. But God almighty, I miss my eggs."

The three went over to the park where the other ponies were hanging out. "Hey everypony, meet our new friend, Fitz!" Fluttershy said.

"He's a human being! One of the first in Equestria!" Twilight replied.

The four other ponies came up to inspect him, "What an odd piece of work," an orange one with a blonde mane said, "He can't carry anything on his back, and his legs are really weak."

"Hey! I've been working on sculpting these legs!" Fitz defended.

A blue flying one with a rainbow mane gazed on him close above, "He's a funny looking thing, isn't he?" she laughed, "Hey Mr. Human, can you do any tricks?" she tipped his Mets hat forward.

"Don't do that!"

A white one with a purple mane inspected his clothes, "A male human wearing a dress? So bold!"

"It's a kilt!"

A pink one bounced up to his face, "Hey you! Do you like parties?"

"I…I" he backed away from her, "I do, actually."

"_We should throw the weirdo a party!_"

"Yeah, lets…weirdo? Hold on," he stepped back further to look at the four ponies, "You guys haven't even introduced yourselves."

"Oh! Pardon us for being so rude, Mr. Human." The orange one gave a little curtsy, "My name is Apple Jack."

"I could go for some right now."

The blue one flew in the air a bit, showing off, "I'm Rainbow Dash!"

The white one gave a curtsy as well, "I'm Rarity. The most fabulous pony in Ponyville!"

"And I'm Pinky Pie!" the pink one hopped around.

"Now that we've all met Fitz," Twilight announced, "We need to help him feel at home in Ponyville!" The other ponies cheered.

"What…what does that mean?" Fitz asked.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Sorry For Pony Rocking

"So, do you guys eat cupcakes all the time?" Fitz asked Fluttershy at the party.

"Sometimes we do," she answered, "they give me a bellyache if I eat too many."

"Yeah. No kidding," he looked at all the party-goers at SugarCube Corner. Fitz always felt a little awkward at parties; he really just said he liked them to get Pinkie Pie out of his face. Since there was no alcohol in sight, Fitz had no chance to loosen up either. Instead, he had to stick with the cupcakes.

Out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie jumped in his face, nearly startling Fitz into the punch bowl. "Wanna dance crazy Human?"

"Uh…" he looked over at Fluttershy giggling, "Sure why not?" the two entered the dance floor, and with Pinkie Pie giving him confidence, he began to get down. All the cupcakes he guzzled caused a sugar buzz, making him as high as a kite. He pulled off his plaid jacket and spun it around above his head as he sang to "You Spin Me Round" with Pinkie. A few more cupcakes gave him the confidence to jump on a table. "This is my song!" he said and threw his jacket into the crowd. Turning around, he pulled off his shirt and began dancing in a circle on the table, while rubbing the shirt over his well-coated hairy chest. Twilight began to shout for more, realizing that his body was not the ideal for human males. His pecs were larger than normal, and his abs were not heavily sculpted. Either way, she did not care, she kept shouting to strip. _Hey, I have to make a living somehow!_ He thought to himself, _At least they're not old ladies like usual_. Sitting down on the table, he threw his shirt into a violent mob of female ponies. He pulled off his knee socks and threw them to the crowd as well.

Barefoot, with only a kilt, Fitz began to dance on the table again, occasionally flashing his tight ass to the crowd. Ponies had never seen a human up close before, and Fitz was so exotic, that they couldn't resist clamoring for his body. Fluttershy may have thought that Fitz was acting like a Manehattan hussy, but she still enjoyed admiring his body. His jet black body hair complimented his light Celtic skin, and Fluttershy thought such a combination was beautiful.

Shying away from totally stripping, Fitz started to wind down and told the crowd that he was done. Yet the ponies would not let him leave the table. _Well, I have no more dignity,_ he thought to himself, _And it's not like I haven't done this before. Might as well give 'em the full deal._ "You ready to party?" He shouted to the crowd. They replied with squeals of joy. "I can't hear you!" They screamed louder. "Alright, you asked for it!" He dropped his kilt, full in front of the audience. The ponies shrieked with excitement, feeding off of sugar. Surprised, Fitz laughed with fun; he did not expect the ponies to become so excited for stripping, since none of them wore clothes themselves.

For such a human, Twilight thought back to her books, he had quite a large endowment. And when he danced, his large package swung back and forth, and his balls receded back in the excitement. He had belly hair, and his "man muff" was groomed in the shape of a lightning bolt, highly arousing Rainbow Dash. His ass was high and tight, boyish and pretty. Even though it had some hair, Fluttershy happened to notice that he kept it quite clean.

Fitz had bared all to most of Ponyville, and they had loved it. So much, that an even larger crowed congregated outside, watching him outside, "Hey, DJ!" he shouted to Vinyl Scratch, "Pump it up louder! They want to hear it outside!" She obliged and the party brought in most of Ponyville. Pinky Pie soon jumped up on the table and began dancing on her hind legs with Fitz. He got centimeters from touching his package with her belly, but he teased and kept it only so close. She could feel his pubes tickling her. Soon enough, he pulled his kilt around her flank and began to shimmy her with it.

"You party hard!" she shouted in his ear.

"A man's gotta work through college!" he replied.

"Want to party in my room later tonight?"

He paused looking into her bright wide eyes, "Sure, why not?"

Just then, Rainbow Dash flew up behind Fitz and began to get down with the two, "You know how to really party, Fitz-y!" She said.

"Me and Fitzy are going to party tonight after this rave!" Pinkie told Dash.

"Can I join?" Dash became aroused thinking about "partying" with Fitzy longer.

"Sure, the more the merrier!" He shouted back. It had been a while since Fitz had been in a threesome, and that was with a girl and another guy. The dual-girl factor aroused Fitz, but he did miss the second cock a little. And he did miss human genitalia as well, but he would just have to make do.

Soon the rave outside got out of control. Imperial guards flew by to see a riot breaking out in Ponyville. "We're going to need reinforcements," one said to the other. After the riot destroyed several fruit carts and trampled one pony to death, Imperial SWAT came out to quelch the party. The four other ponies came up to dancing Dash, Pinky, and Fitz, with Fluttershy saying, "We should get out of here! We're going to get busted!"

Fitz looked outside at the destruction and replied, "Let's get going, ladies!" they all took off to their respective homes, safe from the law. Dash, Pinky, and Fitz went up to Pinky's room for more partying. He and Pinky danced over to her bed and she quickly turned around for him to mount. Her pussy was wet and deep, and Fitz's hardened cock slipped right in. Surprisingly, Pinky was quite tight as well, and Fitz had a hard time getting himself inside her the whole way. Dash flew over and stood over Pinky's head, extending her pussy in his face. Dash was much more wet than Pinky, and when Fitz began lapping up her pussy juices, he noticed that they tasted like sugary syrup, unlike the human acidic taste. Frankly, he liked it.

After a while, Dash wanted Fitz inside her, so the ponies switched positions and they went to town again. Dash was not as tight as Pinky, but he enjoyed her squealing very much. As most of Ponyville erupted in a riot outside, the three were having a little sex riot of their own. When Fitz began to rub Pinky's ass, she begged him, "Shove it inside me!" he obliged, rubbing her pussy juice and a bottle of slick lubricant from her nightstand all over his left hand. Starting slow, Fitz soon got his big hand up inside Pinky's asshole. He fisted her at the same speed as he fucked Dash. He decided to take it up a notch and pounded the two as fast as he could. The two came all over his crotch and face, getting him even more hot.

"Okay girls!" He shouted, "I'm going to come all over you!" They repositioned themselves to lay on their bellies, as he spanked his monkey above their faces. Pinky and Dash began licking his cock until he could not take it anymore. "I can't hold it in anymore girls!"

"Let it all out!" Pinky encouraged.

"Cover us in your come!" Dash cried in excitement.

"Okay! _Here you go!_" It seemed as though his cock exploded all over the two's faces. They lapped up his come and he burned out. His come tasted different than other ponies, the two noticed, his tasted very basic, unlike the salty flavor of other stallions like Pinky's one-night-stand with Big Macintosh. Tired and weary, the three passed out on Pinky's bed, which needed desperately for a change of sheets.

* * *

The next morning came too early for Fitz. Trying not to wake Pinky or Dash, he gingerly went to the window and looked out. After watching the beautiful sunrise, he noticed that his clothes were missing. Frightened, he ran over to his kilt on the floor and quickly pulled it on. The funny thing was, he could not find the rest of his clothes. Then he remembered. "Oh God," he thought aloud, "My clothes are spread across Ponyville!" he woke up Dash and Pinky, "Ladies! My clothes! We have to find them!"

"Can't it wait a little longer?" Pinky moaned.

"Yeah," Dash agreed, "You really wore us out last night!"

"Oh man! I can't believe I stripped for the entire town of Ponyville! Wait a minute," he said to himself, "How could they be aroused? They don't wear any clothes!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Scattered Remains (Of Clothing)

When Fitz scanned downstairs at Sugarcube Corner for his clothing, he came up only finding his boots. "Well, at least I found these," he muttered to himself. Soon enough, Pinky and Dash came downstairs to help him more.

"Sheesh Fitzy, we really got out of hand last night," Pinky replied.

"No kidding, this place is a fucking dump," he then turned to Mr. and Mrs. Cake and asked, "Did either of you two see who got what of my clothing?"

"I'm afraid not," Mr. Cake replied, "You drew quite a crowd."

"More like a riot," Dash commented.

"I think I saw Apple Jack fighting for one of your socks. Maybe we should see if she's got 'em at her place."

"Sounds good enough to me. Let's take a walk," the three departed to Sweet Apple Acres. After walking for a while, Fitz began to feel a little regret from the night before, "Hey ladies, I'm sorry for coming off just a little too strong," he said.

"Just a _little too strong?_" Dash joked.

"Well, for starting a riot for stripping. Sorry 'bout that."

"Oh, don't you worry about that Fitzy," Pinky interjected, "I for one had lots of fun!"

"At least you did," Fitz tried to probe his coat for a smoke, when he realized that he wasn't wearing a coat, "Shit, they even took my smokes."

"What's a 'smoke'?"

"It's a skinny, white tube, which smolders…You don't know what a cigarette is?"

"Uh, hello, you're from a different world," Dash replied, flying slowly overhead, "We don't know anything from your world!"

"Oh yeah, right. Anyway, you inhale this plant rolled up into this skinny paper tube, it's called tobacco, and when you inhale, you get a buzz that helps stress go by a little easier," he sighed, "It can be bad for you, but days like today, I need it."

"Sheesh, you're stressed?" Pinky exclaimed, "It's an _adventure_ searching for your clothes!"

"You certainly are an optimist, aren't you?" The three arrived at the farm, and found Apple Jack in the orchard, working away with a hangover.

Apple Jack indeed had Fitz's sock, and they walked over to the house to retrieve it. "I've just got it in the den over yonder," she told Fitz, "It took quite a while to pry it from Nurse Redheart's hooves. Of course, I gave her the old one-two, and showed her who's boss."

"Shit, all this over my sock?" Fitz replied as they walked through the door. Fitz's sock was where Apple Jack had left it, but somepony had defiled the garment. The sock looked as if it were soaked in a white, sticky gel.

Jack poked it with her hoof, hearing it squish, "_For crying out loud Mac!_" she shouted.

"What's wrong with it?" Fitz examined it, "Wow, really?"

A large, sturdy stallion backed away from the others as they inspected the sock. He hid in the kitchen as Jack approached him and began to scold him. "_You can't do this kind of shit to other people's shit!_" she badgered. After a while, she apologized to Fitz. "My brother has…control problems," she uttered the last two words looking back at Mac.

"It's alright. It needed a wash anyway," Fitz commented.

"Here's a bag you can borrow for your clothes. I hope you find them all."

"Yeah, me too," he accepted the bag, and leaving with the other ponies; he turned around and shouted to Mac, "Y'know, if you're looking for a hand-job big guy, all you needed to do was ask!" He grinned back to a shy smile from Mac, and left. As they walked back to the orchards to return Jack to her work, Fitz asked her, "Did you, per chance, see who took my shirt? I'm getting a little cold without it."

"Let me think now…" she pondered for a while, "I think it might have been Cheerilee, actually."

"Who's that?"

"She's a teacher at our grade school for the young'uns. But they probably have the day off today, considering you caused a riot and all."

"I know, I know. Where does she live?"

Jack, Pinky, and Dash figured that Fitz could handle Cheerilee by himself, so they led him to her house, and they took off to ask around for his other garments. When Fitz got to the door, Cheerilee was already waiting for him inside. She opened the door and greeted him before he could knock, startling him. "How are you, Mr. Human!"

"Uh…Fine, thanks. A little cold without my shirt," he rubbed his upper arm, "I heard that you might have it."

"Oh! Come in, come in!" she shooed the wary Fitz inside, nearly throwing him down on her couch, "Would you like some tea?" she asked as a teacher would.

"Uh, no thanks, I'm in a hurry."

"Alright then," she sat next to him and stared at him intently, "Now, Mr…"

"Fitzgerald, or Fitz for short. I'm here because you might have my shirt. It's olive-brown, with the name of a brewery, Coors. Do you have it?"

"You mean…" she pulled it from behind the couch, "This?"

"Yes! Thank you!" he extended to take it as she pulled it away.

"Ah-ah! You have to do earn it back!"

"Oh no." he realized quickly, "You too, huh?"

"Well, it's only so often that a human comes to Equestria, and I've never seen one in person," she threw the shirt behind her and leaned closer to Fitz, "And I've always been a little aroused by the idea of a human in my bed."

Fitz sheepishly grinned, "Well, how do you want it then?"

Cheerilee got up and trotted in front of Fitz, who spread his legs in anticipation for anything. He only wanted his shirt back, but he knew that he would have to make favors in this world. She walked up close, and stuck her head under his kilt.

"Woah there!" he shouted, feeling her tongue caress his now-hardened dick, he leaned his head back and replied, "Man, that's some good stuff!" gently, he put his hand on her head, bringing it closer, so she could deep-throat him. "Wowzah!" She had been around the block quite a few times. Soon enough, Fitz could not take it anymore, "Hold on, hold on!" he sighed, "I'm going to come!"

Cheerilee obliged and took her head out from under, "Is it my turn now?" she asked.

"Yeah, c'mon aboard."

Cheerilee reared back on her hind legs and mounted Fitz on the couch. He held her cartoonish hooves on his shoulders and the two went to town. She may not have been as tight as Pinky had been the night before, but Fitz wasn't about to give up some free goods. Besides, it was getting cold out without a shirt. They both pumped themselves in and out until Cheerilee couldn't handle it anymore. "Give it to me!" she cried in ecstasy and sprayed juices all over Fitz's lap. He soon followed her after, pulling his pecker out of her and coming on her stomach. "Thank you, Mr. Fitz," she whispered with satisfaction.

"No problem," he answered.

"I'll get a towel and wipe you off," she dismounted and Fitz relaxed on the couch. Cheerilee returned and cleaned the two of them off. Grateful, she returned his Schlitz shirt, which she kept clean for the night. He put it on and thanked her for her courteous hospitality. Fitz asked her if she had seen anyone else take his other clothes, "None that I could see," she said, "I was just focused on your dance." After he left, Fitz wondered if there were any consequences to his sexual adventurism. Thinking of none, he took off to find Dash, Pinky, and Jack.

The other three ponies met up with Rarity and Twilight, thinking that they could cover more ground in finding Fitz's missing clothes. He met up with them at the town square. "Did you gals find anything?"

"Nothing yet," Twilight replied, "I couldn't believe that you actually went down to your bare skin last night."

"Why not? You ladies were clamoring for a show, I was just satisfying your urge!" he said, "Were there any places that you guys didn't check yet?"

"Well darling," Rarity answered, "We haven't checked Caramel's house," she pointed to it's direction.

"I'll go check, you gals have been working too hard on this already," he walked away and balked at his own comment, "Hah! Hard! Bad jokes…" and left. When he arrived at Caramel's house, he actually had the chance to knock on the door. Caramel peeked out the door, and saw a sock-less Fitz. "How's it going, guy?" he asked, "I was wondering if you…"

"I…I don't have anything!" Caramel stammered.

"Wait a second, you didn't even hear what I asked!" Fitz replied, "I was wondering if you happened to pick up any article of clothing I had last night."

"No, no I didn't…" Caramel blushed.

"Okay, now did you see anyone else take anything last night?"

He paused, looking down and away from Fitz.

Fitz leaned forward and replied, "You're a terrible liar, you know that?"

Caramel invited him into his modest home. Only one room, a table with two chairs, a couch, and his bed, nothing else appeared. Caramel walked shamefully over to his bed and brought over Fitz's other sock, "Here you are…I'm sorry."

"Thank you Caramel," he took the sock and stuffed it in the bag with the other, "Don't beat yourself over this, it's just a sock. Cheerilee took my shirt, and that's a little more important. You're not the only one who took my clothes."

"It's not that," he turned around, blushing, "It's different."

Approaching, Fitz patted Caramel on his back, "I know. May I ask you something?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Are you gay?"

The question was a bullet to Caramel's soul. Fitz knew exactly what he was going through. He didn't need to answer, Fitz already knew.

With a hug, Fitz said, "It's alright to be gay. I know what it's like. The denial, the betrayal, the mistrust. I'm with you, guy. And I'm not all that totally straight myself," he walked around to meet Caramel's face and kneeled down to give him a kiss on the nose. Caramel responded with more kisses. The two sat on the ground, making out and affectionately caressing each other, all the while growing more hard.

Fitz had no other choice. The least he could do was show Caramel that he supported him. After seeing Jack's reaction to the other sock, Fitz could only imagine what gay Caramel went through in his pony life. If had been similar to what Fitz experienced himself, he felt for the guy even more. Besides, it had been a while since Fitz had done it with another male whatever, he was a little horny for it himself. Fitz soon crawled underneath a standing Caramel, and told him to come down. They sixty-nined, with Caramel giving Fitz a better blow job than Cheerilee had given, and Fitz complimented with a hand-and-rim-job. Caramel's cock was a massive two feet long monstrosity, with tremendous girth. Caramel knew that he could never penetrate such as small ass as a human's, so he just had to deal with some wonderful oral sex. Needless to say, Caramel didn't mind at all. A clean asshole always made Fitz's day, and this was only more to come. Caramel slobbered all over Fitz's junk and before he could finish off Fitz, he had to pause and acknowledge Fitz's tongue up his ass. Breathing faster, Caramel could feel himself getting closer to climax, "Oh! I'm so close!" he cried.

"Come baby!" Fitz replied, taking his mouth away from his arse, and began to lick Caramel's massive testes. Soon enough, Caramel came all over Fitz. Come dribbled back to his mouth, and it tasted like caramel, quite apropos to his namesake. Caramel then turned his attention back to Fitz, who quickly came soon after. The two spooned on the floor together, until Fitz realized that he had left the other ponies out in the cold. "Sorry sweetie, I have to go." He got up and grabbed his sock, "Thanks for returning it."

"No," Caramel got up and rubbed up against Fitz, "Thank you for helping me be myself."

Fitz knelt down and gave Caramel another sensual kiss, "Anytime, cutie," and he left. All that was left for him to find was his jacket. And he had an idea of where it was.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Nothing Says Loving like Withholding Clothing

After his satisfying encounter with his new friend Caramel, Fitz returned to greet the ponies in the town square, "He had it. Took me a while to coax him to get it back though," Fitz said.

"That pony is all sorts of strange," Jack replied.

"Yeah, I remember in pony charter school," Rarity replied, "The boy would stick to himself all the time! Such an introvert."

"Ah, he's a nice guy," Fitz said, thinking back, "A really nice guy, once he opens up to you," he chuckled, "Anyway, I think I know who has my last article of clothing."

"Really?" Twilight said, "Well, who do you think it is? We've scoured most of Ponyville."

"I'm positive. I know where she lives, too," he replied and they all followed his lead. Fitz had a photographic memory, and since he had visited Ponyville with Shy and Twilight the day before, he knew most of the town already.

"Darling," Rarity said as they walked, "You _must_ let me make you some new garments, I've never worked on human clothing before!"

"Sure, why not?" Fitz replied, "I have no other clothes than these anyway. They were all left back in my world."

She clapped her hooves in enjoyment, "Of course, I'm going to have to have you model them for me."

"Ah, can't be any worse than stripping," he grinned back at her.

Rarity blushed at the notion of seeing Fitz naked again, which she would be doing in the near future. The group soon arrived at a very familiar house, "But, this is Fluttershy's house," Jack said, "Why are we here?"

"Because she has my coat," Fitz replied, "I saw her snag it right before me and Pinky and Dash went upstairs for our own party. It took me a while to remember, but I'm certain that she has it." Before they entered, Fitz stopped them, "I think I should go in by myself. Is that alright with you ladies?"

"Sure, that's fine," Twilight answered, with the other ponies confused, but agreeing, "We'll wait for you two at the library. Why don't you meet us down there later?"

"Sounds good, thanks," Fitz said and entered Shy's house.

When he stepped in, he saw Shy lying on the floor, trying in vain to feed a sick turtle soup. Strange for her, she did not bolt up when Fitz arrived; she simply looked up and smiled, "Hello Fitzy. I'm trying to feed Turtleworth here. He broke his shell in three places, and I had to set them in place again," she got up and sat with Fitz on the sofa, "Would you like some herbal tea I made?"

"Sure, thanks," he took the cup from her table, already waiting for him, "I have a question to ask you Fluttershy," Fitz began, after a sip, "Do you know what happened to my jacket?"

"Of course!" she got up and pulled it out of the closet. Bringing it over, she said, "I thought that I should hold onto it for you, since that party got a little crazy."

"Thanks!" he took the plaid jacket, please that he did not need to do anything extra to get it, "Yeah, it got pretty nutty. Sorry for starting that riot and all."

"Oh, don't worry about it," she cuddled next to him, "I don't mind at all. We haven't had that much fun in a while."

"I heard someone died, I feel a little bad about that."

"It wasn't your fault that someone fell and got trampled by dancing ponies."

"Well, technically it was. But I digress. Thank you for grabbing my coat. You have no idea what I had to do to get my other clothes. It's nice for you to hold onto them for me," he sat back and relaxed.

"I have a question to ask you, if you don't mind. I was wondering if you wanted to stay with me for a while. That is, until you find another home here in Ponyville."

"Uh, sure why not? You cook well enough. Hell, I'm talking about a pony cooking! Hah!" he leaned back and laughed, "I can't believe this shit. But yeah, I can stay here."

"Good! I like having you around, Fitzy," she curled up next to him and cuddled more, to Fitz's confusion. Fitz seemed different than everyone else to Shy, besides the fact that he was human. He made her seem comfortable, and less anxious. Shy hated all the medication that she was prescribed for it and the only one that she really felt safe around was Fitz. And even though she thought she could not hold down a rebel like Fitz for long, she just had to keep him around for as long as she could.

"As much as I like to sit with you on the couch," Fitz broke the short shared silence, "The other ponies would like to meet at the library."

"Just let us sit for a little while longer," Shy replied, "I just want to sit with you."

"Alright. But I don't want to strand 'em out there. I have a tendency to do that," It wasn't the first time Fitz had a romantic relationship, so he knew what was coming next for the two. The only problem that presented for them was, he was a human being and she was a pony. Sure, a one-night-stand with Pinky and Dash was not a problem, but he did not know how relationships worked with ponies. If they were different than humans, he had a shot. If they were just like humans, he was screwed. Fitz had no idea on how to keep a relationship going with another human—both males and females. Figuring that he had quite a bit of luck the past day, Fitz guessed with the former, "I think we better get going, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, okay, I guess," Shy said, "We'll go see what everyone else wants."

While they were walking, Fitz loved having his jacket back. He checked his breast pocket and found his pack of Lucky Strikes. Unfortunately, he only had four left in his pack. He had been meaning to pick up more, but since he was not in his world, he would have to quit a little earlier than expected. Lighting up a smoke, he felt the welcomed rush of nicotine to his head, "Aah," he shuddered, "That's what I need."

Shy coughed and replied, "What is that smelly white thing?"

"It's a cigarette," he explained, "Want a puff?"

"No thank you. It doesn't smell good at all!"

"Well, you're missing out," he huffed the cig down, and was about to reach for another when he remembered that he only had three left. Figuring that there was no tobacco on Equestria, he decided to save the rest for later. The two arrived at the Library, only to find the others gone. "Hey Twilight," Fitz said, "Where'd everyone go?"

"I told them to go home," she said, reading a book on her chair, "I didn't think they should be around for us to…" she paused as she saw Shy come through the door.

"Us to what?" Shy answered.

"Uh, forget it," She backtracked and continued reading.

"Is there something that you wanted us for?" Fitz asked.

"Oh, no, nothing now. Sorry about that!"

"Well, alright. I guess we'll head back…"

"Wait!" Twilight got up, "Don't go yet, Fitz."

"Aw shit," he threw his arms in the air, "Not you too! What's this damn place coming to?"

"Coming to what, Fitzy?" Shy asked, "What's wrong?"

"Everyone's falling in love with me!" acting like a poor dramatic, Fitz paced the room in anxiety, "I can't believe this shit! First Pinky and Dash, then Jack's sister, then Cheerilee, Rarity, You," he pointed to Shy, "And now you!" he pointed to Twilight.

"It's not our fault that you're a beautiful human," Shy said, with a blush.

"But you don't get it! _I'm terrible at relationships!_ I never know what people mean, what they want, sheesh!" he walked back and bumped into a little, purple dragon, "What, now you too?"

"Huh?" the dragon said, looking up at Fitz, "Oh…you're the human that Twilight won't shut up about!"

"Spike!" Twilight responded.

"Won't shut up about?" Fitz asked.

"Yeah, she says you're a sexy man-hunk!" Spike replied

"Sexy man-hunk?"

"Oh no…" Twilight sighed.

Fitz turned around and asked, "You really think I'm a sexy man-hunk?"

"Well," she looked around the room, "I guess I do…"

He smiled, "Really? Thank you!"

"Oh! Twilight!" Shy chimed in and whispered in her ear.

"I can do that!" Twilight answered. She pulled out a book, high above the others. She flipped to a page, and with a magic spell, Fitz felt something strange happening to his body.

"Hey, what, what are you doing to me?" he shouted, floating a few inches off the ground, "What's going on? I thought my cigarette buzz ended a while ago!" Then, without warning, he fell to the ground, "What was that all about?" he asked, rubbing his behind.

"Oh, you'll find out," Twilight said, as she shooed Spike out of the room.

"Hey Fitzy…" Shy cooed, as she bent over, luring her ass to Fitz, rocking it back and forth.

Aroused, Fitz replied, "Oh boy, here we go," but something different was with this arousal.

As Fitz focused on Shy's steamy vag, Twilight saw her spell in action, "It worked!" she replied with joy.

"What do you mean 'it worked'?" Fitz asked as he walked over to Shy. Just as he stepped closer, he looked down, "Holy shit! What happened?"

"Twilight put a spell on you!" Shy replied, "And it's working great, I see!"

"But, my dick…_It's fucking huge!_" his cock had enlarged to the size of a pony's, making it much more suitable for penetrating his new lovers with. Not only that, his testes expanded as well, adding the whole package to the mix. He had to hold it with both hands, saying, "I could'a sworn that I was circumcised," when he examined it closer.

"Now you can _really_ have some fun with us!" Twilight said, becoming more and more horny looking at Fitz's massive cock.

"How the hell am I going to fit this under my kilt?" he replied.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: The Plot-Less Fifth Chapter

Figuring that he would not be able to get out of it this time, Fitz decided to give his pony pals a run for their money. With his humongous erection, he took hold of Shy's flank and gave her a poke. Shy let out a yelp, not expecting Fitz to be so large. Shy's wonderful pussy seemed to be much more tight than even Pinky's. He reached over to Twilight's nightstand and pulled out more Pony-Glide and spread it all over his massive cock. "Are you sure you won't hurt me?" Shy asked, with a hint of doubt.

"Don't worry, Shy," Fitz replied, "I'm an expert in shoving big thinks in tight places! Y'know," he added, "If this is too much, feel free to call it off at any time. I don't mind at all, and I listen to 'no.'"

"Oh! Don't think that Fitzy! I want you inside me!"

"Alright. Just let me know when I should stop," He had a hard time getting his dick started in her vag, but after a few more squirts of lube, Fitz penetrated deep into Shy. Twilight, watching on the sidelines, had been famished of Fitz-love for too long. So, she bolted right up behind him, bent over, and gave him a few nibbles on his left ass cheek, "A little more to the right," he suggested, until Twilight got to his asshole, "Yeah, right there!" she gave him a little lick at first, then crawled underneath him and penetrated his supple anus with her horn. "Do you want some loving yourself, Twilight?" Fitz asked.

"Sure!" She responded. Twilight crawled up on her bed, along with Shy and Fitz. Fitz rested on his side, and gave Twilight head. Shy laid in front of Fitz and he penetrated her again. Tasting her juices, Fitz noticed that the ponies' vaginal fluids tasted quite different than humans. Pinky's tasted like cupcake frosting, Dash's like sugar. Even Caramel's semen tasted like, what else, caramel. In comparison, Twilight's tasted like honey. Wondering why the author could not think of any other clever flavors, Fitz kept on making out with Twilight's vagina. He would suck on her vaginal lips and her clit, while licking deep inside.

On his other side, Shy could barely handle his massive dick. Fitz would go slow, penetrating soft and loving. In another moment, he would pick up the pace and smack his testes fast upon her legs. "Hold on ladies!" Fitz said, taking a breather, "I want to switch this up on us, okay?"

"Yeah!" Twilight cheered as Fitz repositioned himself, "There's enough Fitz-bone to go around!" In turn, he penetrated Twilight, slow at first—like Shy—while he sucked on Shy's clit. Funny enough, Shy's juices tasted like rose buds. _I could get used to this,_ Fitz thought to himself.

Within a few minutes, Shy could not take it anymore. She stood above him and came all over his face. She moaned with pleasure, "Fitz, you're the best!"

Twilight soon hit her climax, "I'm coming too!" she cried in joy. Fitz pulled out, so she could come on his face likewise. She did, and the two ponies hugged each other in pleasure, crouching over his face.

"Okay ladies, let me try this big guy out," he said. The ponies sat below Fitz, who kneeled at the edge of the bed. He had to stroke his dick with both hands, and with the ladies helping him out with their sweet licking, Fitz had no trouble at all coming on their faces as well. The three sat back on the bed, both Shy and Twilight cuddling him to no end. After a sudden realization, he sat up to contemplate his thoughts, "I just noticed something," he said.

"What's that, sugar plum?" Shy asked.

"This is one of those porny fanfictions online!"

"Oh dear! Is that bad?"

"Is it bad?" He turned to her, "They're the _bane_ of fiction! I can't believe I've been such a slut to get to this point," he got up and paced the floor again.

"Why don't you just lay back down and think about it with us?" Twilight replied.

"Okay, I can make it out of this," Fitz reassured himself, "You've gotten into worse fictions before! I had a hard time with that one about the robot teenager and the ugly anime knock-offs, and I survived…"

The two ponies go up to help Fitz calm down, "Fitzy, you're going to have a panic attack if you don't calm down!"

"And it looks like the author is coming out of the dugout, to the story," Sean McDonough reported from the ESPN booth, "He's already made the phone call to the bullpen for another character."

"We'll most likely see a character-change here," Rick Sutcliffe added, "Schlitz's gotten himself into a hole with this chapter, and I wouldn't be surprised if the author makes that change to his bullpen."

"Alright," the author said, back in the story, "You've done enough damage here. I'm going to let another character take over now. You're not moving the plot along, so it's time to go."

"I've got this, man," Fitz replied, "You can't take me out now. I'm going to stay right here. Besides, how come you keep referring to yourself in third-person?"

"That's beside the point. It's time to get going. Go out to the dugout, grab some Gatorade, we'll bring you back later next week."

"You can't do this to me, author. I can get out of this. Give me one more chance. C'mon, have a little faith."

The author crossed his arms and sighed, "Alright. If you can get out of this, I'll let you stay in. You've got one more chance to end this chapter, and if you don't, there's no more chances," and he departed for the dugout.

"What do you think about this, Aaron?" Rick Sutcliffe responded, "It looks like the author _will not_ go to his bullpen character."

"It's a risky move Rick," Aaron Boone said, "Schlitz has had a pretty disappointing outing in this chapter. I would be very surprised to see if he can get out of this chapter without any more damage."

Fitz turned around to the two ponies, "Okay ladies," he began, speaking with his hands; "We need to find another plot point that we can expand upon for future chapters. Like me losing my clothes, that was a good one!"

Twilight and Shy thought for a minute, until Twilight said, "Well, I have a science convention in Canterlot in two days. I think Princess Celestia might want to meet her new human subject!"

"Oh! That sounds like a nice plot point for our Fitzy!" Shy commented, "Do you mind if I come along with you two?"

"Sure! We can all go! I'll tell the girls tomorrow morning."

"Subject?" he put his hands down, "I don't remember voting for any 'Celestia.' But I guess it'll do," An awkward silence fell over the three, when Fitz finally said, "So, what do we do now?"

"I don't know," Shy said, "I guess we can take a nap or something."

"Yeah, it's pretty late anyway," Twilight agreed, "We'll further work out the plan tomorrow morning over breakfast. Sounds good?"

"Sure I guess," Fitz yawned and walked over to the window, "It is late, huh?" seeing a short, fat purple creature outside, he realized, "Oh shit! We left your dragon friend outside for hours!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: New Duds (For a Price)

After crashing at Twilight's with Fluttershy, Fitz and the ponies went out for breakfast the next morning. They talked over their plan to bring Fitz to the science convention in Canterlot. "So what you're telling me is," Fitz said, "_I'm_ your science experiment?"

"If you want to look at it that way, yes you are," Twilight responded, "With a positive view, you're an exhibit of _life_ outside of Equestria."

"I guess that's a little better," Fitz shoved a pancake in his mouth, "It can't be any worse than that strip joint outside Three Forks," he shuddered, "Ugh…so trashy…"

Shy chimed in and patted him on the back, "Don't worry Fitzy, Canterlot is a nice place! It's clean and pretty, besides all the ponies there…" she shuddered herself.

"I guess I can go. I wouldn't want to disappoint you ladies. When are we leaving for your 'Camelot'?"

"We're leaving for Canterlot tonight, on the Canterlot Express. But we'll arrive tomorrow morning," Twilight said, as they finished up, "You've ridden on a train before, right?"

"Yeah…in a box car," he replied, "Not a wise first-date venue."

When the three left the restaurant, Rarity happened to bump into Fitz. "Darling!" she responded, "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Well, what for?" Fitz answered.

"I've been dying to design some new clothes for you!"

"_Oh_, now I remember. I'm free right now, if you are."

She dragged him to her boutique, "Then you must come with me!"

"We'll make it to the train station on time!" Fitz shouted to Twilight, "You go tell the others if they want to go too!"

At Carousel Boutique, Rarity began to interrogate Fitz on his clothes back on Earth, "Do all male humans wear these dress-like garments like you do?" She asked.

"Most don't," He said, "But I like wearing 'em. They call them 'kilts' back on earth."

"Really? A kilt, huh?" she measured his kilt, "Would you like me to make you a few more?"

"Sure, sounds good! By the way, could you make me a few more shirts too?"

"Of course, darling," She pulled various fabrics out from her shelves as she approached her workbench, "What color kilts would you like?"

"Oh, nothing special," he looked down at the black one he currently wore, "One in a tartan would be nice, I've always wanted one."

"A _tartan?_"

"Y'know, plaid, as they usually call it."

Rarity paused, "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"It's a design," he walked next to her and drew it on her pad of paper, "Like this. It's a pattern used to distinguish different families from the Scottish Highlands. Each clan has their own. Now, you see, my family's from North English, so we didn't get a tartan. But I still really like 'em."

Rarity recognized the pattern, "I've seen those before!"

"Really? Where from?"

"I saw them worn by imperial guards once," she assembled the right fabrics, "Do you want me to make one like that?"

"Sure, sounds good. I can't see why not. And maybe another one in black, and another one in this pattern," he sketched out a common blue, black, and green tartan.

"I would love to darling, now go make yourself comfortable and let me get these done for you!"

Fitz sat back in Rarity's elongated couch next to her workbench. Fidgeting, he asked, "Are you sure that there's nothing I can do? I hate to see you work all by yourself without any help."

"It's quite alright. You sit back and make yourself at home."

"Well, alright," he relaxed more when a white, fluffy cat hopped up next to him, purring, "Hey! Who's this?" he asked the cat.

"Oh!" Rarity jolted from her post, "That's Opalescence, She's very…"

"Very what?" he asked, petting the happy cat on his lap.

"Very moody…how did you get her to sit with you?"

"I don't know. I just like me a good cat. It might have something to do with our temperaments. I'm moody like a cat too, so we get each other, I guess!"

A few minutes passed, and Rarity completed the first kilt, "I'm finished!" she replied in her sing-song voice.

"Holy shit," Fitz bolted up and examined the cloth, "How'd you get done so fast?"

"It comes with lots of hard work and talent, my dear boy."

"Yeah, yeah. But shit, they oughta' outsource to Equestria if you guys _always_ work this efficiently."

Rarity returned to her table, "Now you'd like another kilt in this pattern?" she pointed to his sketch.

"I would," he approached her workbench, "That one's from the Royal Higlanders division, the Black Watch. But man," he looked back at the kilt just made, "I can't believe you made this so quickly!" Not a single stitch missed its mark, and the solid colors of the Imperial Equestrian Tartan seemed to jump out of the fabric. Soon enough, Rarity had completed his other requests, two more kilts and four more t-shirts; each with brilliant craftsmanship. "I'm speechless about this, I really am!" Fitz exclaimed, "How much do I owe you for these?"

"Oh, you certainly don't need to pay me. It was my pleasure," Rarity replied, turning down his wallet.

He put down his clothes and approached her, rubbing her back, "I'd really like to make it up to you. If you don't mind."

She turned back and smiled, "Oh darling, I see what you mean. I guess we could work something out," With gusto, Fitz closed all the curtains in the room, rushed over to her bed and tore off all his clothes. Surprised to see his cock grow larger, Rarity asked, "Uh, has your, you know, endowment grown since I last saw it?"

He looked down, "Twilight put a spell on me, so now I'm better suited for pony-folk, not people anymore."

"How do you fit that under your kilt?"

"Beats me. Have a seat sweetheart, and let yourself go!"

She obliged and the two went to town. Lying on her side, Rarity squirted Pony-Glide all over her supple pussy. Fitz kneeled over her and began to thrust his massive cock deep inside her. Noticing that she enjoyed it, he decided to go a little faster, and Rarity begged for more. She was a lot noisier than Shy, who kept herself restrained to little moans and squeals. Rarity let it all out when Fitz would lie on the goods, as did Pinky before. Even though he knew that he became a total slut, Fitz didn't care; he got it on with the pony-love.

"Hold on darling!" She cried, "I'm going to come, but I want to give you a little love too," she got up and motioned for Fitz to lie on his back.

"Don't mind if you do," he replied, quite winded, "Climb on!" Rarity mounted him, and sat herself down on his giant dick.

"Are you sure I don't weigh too much?"

"Don't worry. I've done bears that were twice your size!"

"My! A bear would be an awfully furry experience. How did you manage around the teeth and claws?"

"I think we're talking about different bears here, actually," the two continued their romp, until Opalescence began to watch them. "What's the cat doing here?" Fitz noticed.

"Oh, don't mind her, keep going!"

"I get a little nervous when someone's watching."

"It doesn't matter! I'm coming!"

"Oh man, so am I!" The two climaxed in a hail of loud, sweaty glory, as they shot come all over her bed. With heavy exhaustion, Fitz helped her change the sheets, "Sorry about that. I'm still getting used to my new dick."

"Don't worry about it. I should be thanking you for your performance. Whew," she wiped sweat from her brow as they worked, "No wonder all the ponies want a piece of you."

"You see, that's what I don't understand," He stopped for a moment, "How come all you ponies get a real hoot out of me?"

"Isn't it simple? You're a fascinating human. You're a fascinating _being_, that's why. We enjoy your company very much, and you're a good, honest friend as well."

"Well, maybe. But back in my world, I'm a dud. I couldn't get dates anywhere. Plus, I had to resort to stripping for extra cash. Pretty low, where I come from."

"Don't you worry about it. Now here," she tossed him his new clothes, "Try these on for me, I want to see you model them!"

"Well, alright." He stripped down right in front of her and modeled his new kilts, "I think they might be just a tad too long," he replied, as Rarity made some alterations, "But besides that, they look great, you even got the pleats right!"

"That's why I'm the best in Equestria, if I do say so myself," she made her last cuts, "Do you think that will do?"

"Perfect," before he left, Fitz thanked her once more, "I can't tell you how much I appreciate it," he said.

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate your," she paused, "hospitality."

"Oh! Yeah, thank you for that too," he began to walk away, when he paused, "Say Rarity, you wouldn't have happened to hear from Twilight about a trip to some place called Canterlot?"

"You mean for the science expo? We've known about it for weeks, darling!"

"Oh, okay. So you're coming with us tonight, right?" he approached her in the doorway.

"Of course. Why are you so nervous about it?"

"Well, I'm the exhibit Twilight is putting on," he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I'm a little nervous about it. How am I supposed to be a science exhibit?"

"Darling, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just be yourself!"

"Be myself, huh? I guess we'll see you later tonight, Rarity" he walked away, muttering to himself, "Hope I don't start another fucking riot. Again."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Hear the Train a-Coming

Dusk approached as the six ponies, plus human, boarded the Canterlot Express. Fitz, unsure about the whole science expo, began to ponder his presence on Equestria. Sure, the girls were nice and the ponies friendly, but he still felt as an outsider. Equestria was saturated with bright pastel colors that Fitz had never even imagined before, but he was still different than everyone else. His lighting was drab, compared to the others. Plus, his boring flesh tones seemed out of place in the cartoon-esque Equestria. As he sat, looking out the window, he watched the passing ponies in the distance of Ponyville, carrying out their lives. He wondered what they did for a living, if they had friends, if they had family, if they were outsiders like himself. Out of the blue, Pinky showed up, "Hiya Fitzy!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arm over his shoulder, "What'cha looking at?"

"Oh, I'm just looking at your world in a more critical eye," Fitz replied, "You know, trying to get used to this place. It's not that easy being the only human on Equestria."

"It isn't?" she asked, getting quieter, "Why not? You have friends in us."

"The thing is, I'm still not a pony. I'm a human. I was different on earth, and now I'm different on Equestria. You know what I mean?"

She paused for a moment to assess his concern, then slowly shook her head, "I'm sorry, but I don't. But I have an idea," she turned him around to the others on the car, "Hey everyone! Fitzy here is feeling blue! Let's cheer him up!" she then shoved a cupcake in his mouth.

"Where did you get that?" he muttered with a full mouth.

"Why are you feeling down?" Jack asked as the other ponies approached to comfort Fitz.

"I'm still getting used to the whole 'only human in Equestria' thing. Like I was saying, I was an outsider back on my earth, and things haven't changed yet."

"What do you mean things haven't changed yet?" Shy commented, sitting next to him, "You're the most popular guy in Ponyville!"

"That's true," Dash replied, "Although it should be me, you're the most admired."

"You really think so?" Fitz asked.

"We're positive, Darling," Rarity spoke up, "Everyone's got a thing for you!"

"Just because you look different doesn't mean you're disliked," Twilight declared, "If that's the way things work on your world, it sounds like a horrible place."

"Tell me about it," he shuddered, "I could be watching basketball…ugh…But I'm a little concerned about the author trying to push a corny moral in a fanfiction."

"Well, now that you know you're accepted, _let's part-ay!_" Pinky exclaimed. Soon enough, the entire train car lit up with loud music and candy. Even Fitz loosened up, although his kilt remained on—he certainly did not want a riot on a train. He found a pony strumming a stringed instrument, and after a little convincing, he pried it from her hands and began to play a song. Remembering from ear, he tuned it to the key of a country guitar and played a little Johnny Cash. When he broke into "The Kneeling Drunkard's Plea," all the ponies gathered around to listen. They clopped their hooves to the beat and Fitz laughed through most of the words. When finished, they begged him to do another song.

"I don't think I could," he replied, "I'm not very good with the guitar."

"C'mon, that was great!" Jack said.

"Do us another one!" Dash exclaimed.

"_Freebird!_" Pinky shouted from the back.

"Well, I don't think I could do that one," he answered, "But I do know another one from back home," he began to strum, when he called Shy up from the audience, "I need you to play along with me," he said when he handed her two large pencils he found on a counter behind him.

"What, what do you want _me_ to do?" she stammered.

"Just keep the beat," he tapped his foot quietly to the beat, "It's for the song. If you don't mind."

"Oh no, not at all. I'm just not sure if I can keep up."

"Trust me, it's not that hard at all," he gave Shy the nod and they began. Fitz then played the old Earth standard, "My Grandfather's Clock" in which the other ponies kept the beat as they clopped their hooves along with. Soon, Shy was having as much fun as everyone else, even up in front of a little crowd. When the song was over, they all laughed and cheered for Shy and Fitz, who gave a respective bow. "That's enough for now," Fitz said, handing back his makeshift guitar to its owner, "It's getting late, and we want to be ready for your expo, Twilight."

"You're right. We should head to our drawing rooms, girls," She responded and the others obliged.

Down the hall, Jack struck up a conversation with Fitz, "I really liked your songs," she complimented.

"Thanks!" he replied, "I will certainly be playing more for you guys in the future. I haven't played guitar in a long time, and it's nice to know that I still have my chops."

They arrived at Jack's drawing room, "I was wondering if you could, you know," she stood at her door, "Teach me a little more?"

Fitz knew what was going on, and he followed, "Sure," the two walked into her room, "where do you want to start?" he asked as he sat down on her bed.

"Right here," she seductively ducked her head under his kilt and gave him a little loving.

"I could get used to these lessons," Fitz leaned back on the bed and took it like a champ. He'd been with every other pony in his little harem and it was about time to get to Apple Jack. Underneath her tough, hard-working exterior stood a soft and gentle mare, which Fitz revealed through his musical talent. While Jack blew him, he held her blonde mane back, so he would not mess such lovely hair. "Hold on, sweetheart," he said, holding her back, "before I come all over your face, let's have a good look at you," Fitz brought her up to the bed and kneeled behind her flank. With a pucker, he dove into her pussy.

"My-oh-my," Jack moaned, "That's some good stuff right there, hon'!" As expected, Jack's fluids tasted like apple pie filling. Before she could come, Fitz stopped and rubbed her flank.

"Are you ready for me?" he asked.

"Let me have it, sugar-cube."

"Anytime you want to pull the plug, let me know," he then penetrated her with his mighty cock. Jack bowed her head in submission while Fitz leaned down as well, to nuzzle her mane a bit. They both knew there was a connection, stronger than some of the other ponies, between each other. Jack grew up in the rural orchard of Sweet Apple Acres and Jack in the fields of Eastern Montana. Both were down home and honest country folk. As Fitz often mentioned, they might not have known much, but they had a lot of fun.

"Oh Celest, I'm going to come!" Jack cried.

"Man, me too!" Fitz gasped and the two came all over the bed. Exhausted, Jack curled up into bed and quickly fell asleep. Fitz pulled a clean blanket over her and tucked her in. "I'm going to take a little stroll to the bar," he told her, "You want me to come back?"

"Of course. I'll be waiting for you," she answered.

Fitz walked on over to the next car over for a drink. When he arrived, he saw a dejected Spike at the bar. Concerned, Fitz went over and sat next to the dragon, "How are you doing, guy?" he asked.

"Not great," Spike replied as he sipped his drink, "Not great."

Fitz turned to the bartender, "I'll take what he's having," then turned back to Spike, "It's not over me forgetting about you outside the other day, is it?"

"No, it's not about you," he took another sip, "It's a little more than that."

"Do you want to talk it over? You know," Fitz pointed to himself, "Man-to-dragon?"

"Well, it's about Rarity. I've had the hots for her for a long time."

Guilt stricken, Fitz received his drink and began to sip, "Okay, I see. There's nothing wrong with liking someone that way."

"I know. I'm just upset, because I've come to the point where I know that I'll never be able to get her."

"Now why do you say that?"

"Well, she's beautiful, smart, and nearly famous. I'm just some short, stupid dragon, who's good at nothing. I'm just looking at myself, and I'm nothing but a delivery boy for Celestia and Twilight."

"I don't see it that way. I think you've got a lot going for you. I mean, sure, you're little. But you've got a long way to go. I don't think you're dumb either. Sure, you may be young, but that just means you've still got to learn. It's exciting, really," he took a drink, "When I look back, I think of how far I got. Sure, I've made some bad choices, and I've had some hard times to get through, but I've learned so much from my mistakes. And going through rough patches makes you a stronger and better person…or dragon, in your case. You see what I mean?"

"Yeah, I guess that's true."

"And for being a messenger, heck, I wish I had a nice job like that. Not a bad gig, really. You've got more job security than most of the guys I knew back in my world. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's just unproductive. I have an idea," he put his hand on Spike's shoulder, "Why don't you spend some time with Rarity tomorrow. Nothing special, nothing formal. I'll bring the other gals to that science expo, and you can have some quality time. Is that a plan?"

"Okay, I can get behind that."

"Good. Now, you're not going to get anywhere if you get smashed tonight. So finish up your drink and we'll head to our drawing rooms," they both finished and headed to bed, "We'll see you in the morning," Fitz said, before he ducked away into a drawing room.

"Sure, but wait," Spike stopped in the hallway, "Isn't that Apple Jack's drawing room?"

Fitz smiled back and slipped into the room, locking the door closed behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Royally Pissed

Fitz and the ponies arrived at Canterlot Station and after checking into their room at the Fillymont Hotel, the seven left for a meeting with Princess Celestia at the royal palace. Upon entering, all six ponies bowed in honor of their ruler. Fitz, on the other hand, did not bow until introducing himself in royal fashion. "Who might you be, human?" Celestia questioned.

"I am Fitzgerald, of the Schlitz clan," he bowed slightly in Midæval style, "I have come from my realm in peace and service to your forces."

Celestia saw his respect and smiled, "I would be honored to have you serve in my Royal Guard. What was your name again, Sir…"

"Fitzgerald Schlitz, but my friends call me Fitz."

"Sir Fitz!"

"I'm not an English subject, so I can't really be knighted…"

"It is settled. Twilight," she turned to her humble pupil, "Your friend shall make an excellent addition to my Royal Science Fair. That is," she glanced back at Fitz, "if Sir Fitz does not mind being displayed for all of Equestria to see."

"Wouldn't be any different than other careers I've had," before the science fair, the gang went into a café for a bite to eat. Strangely enough, the author awaited them, "What the heck are you doing here?" Fitz asked.

"Well, I've got some bad news," he sighed, "Ladies, Fitzgerald, you're fired."

Their jaws dropped, "F-fired?" Twilight stammered, "How can you fire us?"

"Yeah! This is discrimination!" Dash shouted.

"No it's not. Besides, I didn't write you as a lesbian like every other fan-fic has you," The author pointed, tough but fair, "This story has been going down the shitter, pardon my expression, for the past six chapters. We're moving on with different fiction, and you guys didn't make the cut. So sorry," as the others looked at each other to see what to do, the author replied, "Please have your desks cleared out by this afternoon, and leave as soon as possible."

With that, the Ponies left for Ponyville to return to their previous jobs. Things were a tad different for Fitz, however. He stepped out of the café with the author, and immediately stepped foot in Billings, Montana. Fitz still had his job at K-Mart—seeing as he was only gone for a few days—and went back to his quiet life of desperation.


End file.
